It's hard to maintain my blog when my vision of it is as both a news bulletin board of my life and happenings, and an intimate place to openly share my experiences, as I did when I wrote about Texas and teaching and my feelings and thoughts related to that. But when most of my emotions and thoughts and actions revolve around feelings that are so personal and sensitive and involve other people who may not want to read my feelings poured out for any and all to read, what can I write about? I like the thought of this being diary-like, yet I hesitate out of respect for those involved, who may not want to know my deepest thoughts and feelings about my relationships, who might not want to read what I haven't even said aloud yet, who might prefer if I leave those stories for a phone call with a close friend than a blog. So, for now, I'll keep it news-y.
I recently had a birthday and am officially in my later-mid/late 20s, and proud to be. I wouldn't go back to any other year of life. Despite how hard and miserable 26 was, I have to believe that each year gets better, I get wiser, I enjoy life just that much more. I'm never sure if there should be some grand change or realization on my birthday. I like to reserve it as at least one day during the year in which I treat myself, I reflect on life, I take time for my own enjoyment. But this year I felt less of a need for that. Maybe it's because I've had an entire year of deep reflection, and I just want to relax. To be chill. To just live in the moment and enjoy the now a little more. No deep insights on my birthday. I'm another year older and thankful for the lovely celebrations I had. My coworkers sent me a gift box and seranaded me when I called in for a conference call. My family took me to pizza one night, then made an amazing Mexican dinner the next night. And I got to talk to and read messages from some of my very favorite friends. I am truly blessed for all the wonderful people in my life. Thank you.
Regarding my health, and wrapping up associations with the accident: I had surgery last week on my arm to remove the plate on the ulna (the outer bone). I could feel the plate anytime I put weight on it, like leaning on a table, which was annoying, not exactly painful but not pleasant either. My orthopedist seemed to think it was best to just remove it and it was a pretty basic surgery. Only took an hour. The funniest part was that they had a sign on the wall of my prep room that read "You are having surgery on the left." and a sign on the end of my bed that said "left." And they put the IV in my right arm. Yet I was still asked by at least 3 different people, "so you're having surgery on your right arm..." Umm, no, my left arm. Plus my right arm is tucked under this blanket and has cords all around it and I have my left arm hanging out here accessible. Just look for the HUGE scar... The line is already drawn for him. Please tell me that my orthopedist will know what's going on. Honestly. Since then, I've had to wear a splint to help keep the new cut from being pulled. I cannot wait until this is off and finally done with.
On the other end of the situation, I should soon be getting my settlement. And the only positive outcome from this experience is that I'm using most of the money as a downpayment on my first house. That's right. I'm about to be a homeowner. After looking at several homes in my modest price range, I found a foreclosure that I like and seems that it'll be a good investment. I made an offer, the bank countered, I countered, and they just accepted. Now I just have to hope that my loan goes through, the inspection goes well, and people push papers quickly. My current closing date is set as 1/13/09 but I'm hoping it'll be much sooner, maybe even before New Years! Fingers crossed!! I'm still hesitant to get too excited and share too much about it, because it seems like there is still so much that could go wrong. But it's been an exciting, stressful, and educational week as I go through this process. Ugh. Who knew there were so many steps? So many costs? Anyhow, to see house pictures, you can go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/21422270@N02/sets/72157610626372932/And then, it was Thanksgiving, one of my favorite holidays because it's a time to reflect upon the things that you truly value in your life. In middle school, my teacher Mr. Hulbert encouraged us to set aside a few minutes during Thanksgiving to just jot a list of the things for which we were thankful. And I've tried to do that every year because I thought it was such a special and wonderful thing to do.
This year, I'm sharing my list here (that's personal!). In no particular order, I'm thankful for:
- my parents and Joe, who give me everything, who stand by me and support me no matter what I've decided, who would do anything for me, who I love and adore with all my heart
- the stupid old family stories that we think are so amusing, and they are such inside-stories, and I'm sure that they are not that entertaining to hear as they are for us to tell
- Jenn for her love, for listening, for backing me, and mostly for cheering me up and making me smile when I'm feeling down. I am so lucky to have you as a friend. Thank you and Brendan for your support and hospitality.
- Mandy and Holly and Colleen who make the Girls' Weekend work even through a hurricane, and even though they have busy schedules and husbands and households. I cherish our time together. You make me laugh and smile and feel silly and girly and I love every moment of it!
- Maria, even when we have falling-out moments, for still loving me and for forgiving me for my misbehavior
- Nathan for his beautiful and supportive emails
- Christine and Aaron for their friendship, openness, compassion, and support when I really needed it. Thank you for helping me push myself in my own growth
- Jeannette for building our friendship, listening and offering advice (which was more right than I knew at the time), and challenging me
- Kelly and Heather and Tracy for their friendship and for listening so supportively, and for our Girls' outings
- Katie for her belief and optimism; thank you for your prayers and smiles
- My extended family for their support, especially aunt Kathy for sending a picture of her garden (it really cheered me up and reminded me how beautiful home is)
- Meeshy for her support, hugs, love, and compassion for others. You have such a kind and generous heart and you inspired me and reminded me why I joined TFA
- Angela and Mark and Hailey for making me laugh, for making me feel like part of a little family and loved and supported
- Tessa for the long beach walks, poolside talks, cookie baking/lesson planning Sundays
- Jenna for her shoulder to cry on all summer, and the amazing help lesson planning, and the girl talks
- Jason for his lesson planning help, his lunch period visits to my room to commisserate, and his generally upbeat attitude which made it feel almost possible
- Colleen's mom Sally for her encouraging emails
- Patsy for the care package and the advice
- Isaac and Nick for their support when I was quitting, and for surprisingly not lecturing me or making me feel guilty about my decision to leave TFA
- the TFA'ers who came out to my going-away outing; thanks for saying goodbye even if you didn't necessarily agree with my decision
- Elizabeth for her friendship, leadership, understanding, and beautiful singing ;). I feel so lucky to have you as a friend, colleague, and boss!
- Paul, because he is the most amazing and thoughtful employer, and a damn good guy
- My coworkers at the UO for accepting me back and making me feel so welcomed
- my buddy Jake because he always makes me smile by his sheer optimism
- Kaseja for her support and advice
- Jack, my sweet little kitty for not forgetting me
- Chase for using me as a chair and for his sweet smile
- Aron for trusting me, finally hugging me when I was leaving for Texas, and opening up to me after months of not seeing me
- my friends at CPY for their support and caring
- the beautiful power necklace from my aunt Carolyn
- the text messages from my students saying they missed me
- the opportunity to take Aron to DC, twice!
- the ability to be physically healed after the accident
- the opportunity to buy a house (thanks Dad for the help with the settlement!)
- Meadow Camp on the Deschutes River... love it
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