She asked us to complete a couple's questionaire to get a sense of us if she needed to write portions of the ceremony. We were supposed to answer separately but did it together. My responses are in pink and Matt's are in blue.
How did you first meet? How did you feel about the other one at that time?
We were teammates in the Cascade Lakes Relay, July 30-31, 2010. The Cascade Lakes Relay a 12-person team long-distance running race, with each runner completing three legs (of 3-8 miles each leg) over 216.6 miles from Diamond Lake to Bend, Oregon. Each team is split into two vans with six runners in each van, and the vans alternate running so that when Van 1 is running, Van 2 is resting. Our team, Running on Empty, came in 22nd of 130 total teams, with a total time of 30hrs, 45min, 29secs (average mile 8:32).
Matt had run the relay the previous two years but was not planning to participate until the week before the race. The team coordinator Sandy kept begging him to rejoin the team but he kept saying no, he hadn’t been training and didn’t have time, but he stepped up to take the place of someone injured at the last minute. The coordinator promised him there’d be single girls on the team, though she didn’t know that I was the only single girl. This was my first relay, though I tried to get off the team due to an injury but no one could take her place. We were in different vans and met on Friday, July 30th during the van handoff.
Sandy found out I was single the night before and told “I have the perfect guy for you. He's on the team, Matt, you'll meet him tomorrow." At first I thought, "hey just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm going to like any other single guy, what is this guy even like?" but then I had a weird gut feeling that it sounded kinda right. My first thought when I first saw Matt was "wow. He is even cuter than I hoped he'd be." He had a really cute smile. And he seemed really calm and laid back, kinda quiet. He had his mini dachshund Zoey with him, which I thought was sweet.
My first thought when I saw Gretchen was “she’s hot.” Long blonde hair.
Where was your first date?
What were the first words you spoke to each other?I think our first words were just “hey.” Then I kept positioning myself around him and trying to find out more about him. We tried to get in conversations during the rest of the van handoffs and at the end of the race, when the rest of the team went home, we went out for burritos at Longboard Louie and spent the rest of the night talking in his car in the parking lot where the race ended. Something about him seemed so right and so familiar. And when we found out his birthday is the day before mine, I thought that was a good sign. Although I live in Bend and he lived in Wilsonville (three hours away), we felt enough of a connection to want to make the effort to keep getting to know each other.
When did you first fall in love? (How did you know?)
I felt pretty good about Matt from the start. Something about our relationship just seemed so right and exciting and promising. I felt really optimistic about us. We had honest conversations from the start about what we want in a relationship and where we saw our relationship going and hoped it would go… to marriage and a family. We want the same things and have the same values. I thought I loved him pretty early on but I didn’t tell him until November. One night I looked at Matt and I thought “I will never be with anyone else” and I felt so happy, relieved, lucky about that.
I knew I loved Gretchen in December. She’d just made some cookies and I thought “I think I love this girl.” Then I tasted the cookies and I thought “I love this girl.” And I told her.
When did you decide that you wanted to be together forever? Why?
Matt is so sweet and caring and passionate. He makes me smile and I feel so loved and accepted. I knew he’d be an amazing husband and father. I went into the relationship thinking we were working on being together and it just seemed more and more right as it went along. I remember one day feeling such an intense feeling of love for him, I just wanted to shout it out. The next day, December 14, I wrote my friend Jesse that I was pretty sure I’d marry Matt in 2011 and he was the guy I’d always been waiting for. Later that day, surprising me, he proposed.
I knew I wanted to marry Gretchen after my hunting buddy Ryker shot a deer at dusk and couldn't find it so he’d called me for help. Instead of going to dinner, we headed to the hunting site to stomp through the wet, muddy ferns with flashlights looking for a dead deer. We didn’t find it until the next morning. Gretchen didn’t even complain. Then we went back to my apartment and she made spaghetti and cookies. I thought that was really cool. Plus she likes my dog Zoey and helped me pick out and name our puppy Ellie. It’s easy to be myself around her. I enjoy spending time with her. She doesn’t mind watching sports with me.
How did you propose or accept the proposal?
Matt had decided to move to Bend to be with me. I was going to try to move to Portland but am stuck in my house due to a tax credit I took so he made plans to move to Bend in January.
On Tuesday, December 14th, Matt had the day off work. He was busy around his apartment seeming to go through things and playing online. I assumed he was just preparing to move. What I didn't know was that Matt had emailed my parents to ask for their blessing (sign of the times), that his "Christmas" shopping was actually ring shopping (with only his good instincts and the memory of a picture I once jokingly sent). And when he claimed to be helping his boss move a bed, he was actually picking up the ring that had been finished being set.
Matt had suggested we go to dinner. Not unusual except they'd gone to BBQ the night before. He pretended to be going through some old clothes in the closet and try them on to see if they still fit. Well since he had them on, might as well wear them to dinner. I fell for it and dressed up too. After a nice dinner at Olive Garden, Matt "accidentally" took the wrong freeway entrance out of the restaurant, heading them to downtown Portland to look at Christmas lights on the waterfront, since we were already going that direction. I suspected nothing, the only thing seeming out of place being that Matt didn't order dessert and seemed a little anxious to leave the restaurant. I thought he was just being festive. He parked at the Portland waterfront along the Willamette River and we got out to walk. It was really cold, windy and had been raining earlier and I hadn’t brought a jacket even though Matt told me to bring one.
At the end of the walkway, overlooking the river and Waterfront’s Park lit Christmas tree, we stopped and admired the cold, dark river. Matt wished there’d been more lights but I thought it was sweet. For a moment I thought “this would be a nice place for an engagement one day,” but then Matt suggested we head back to the car. But he hugged me and didn’t let go. We said we love each other and how happy we’d been the last few months. Then he said “now you don’t have to worry…” because I’d mentioned being worried about how things would work out between us and feeling slightly cautious. And he got down on his knee and asked he got down on his knee and asked “will you marry me” as he pulled a box out of his pocket. I was so surprised! I really didn’t think he’d ask me before Christmas, even though we’d talked about it. I was so surprised when he started to kneel, I almost asked “are you PROPOSING?!” but I managed to let him ask and then almost cried and just said “YES! Yes Yes!” and hugged him. I was so excited he had to ask if I wanted to see the ring. It was the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen, must prettier than what I’d have chosen, and I love that he picked it out, I think it’s so sweet.
After returning home, Matt was exhausted from the excitement and anticipation and nervousness and immediately ready for sleep. I was so excited with my heart racing, I couldn't sleep!
I decided that morning to propose. I thought about it that morning and then just knew it's what I wanted to do. I was excited and I emailed her parents and asked for their blessing. Then I went to the jewelry store and made the purchase. The ring I bought was the 3rd one I saw in the store and it just seemed perfect. I didn’t know how I was going to propose yet. I spent the rest of the day thinking and planning. After I picked up the ring, I was too excited and wanted to do it that night. I tricked her into getting dressed up and took her to dinner. I was nervous at dinner. I took her to the waterfront, I was wishing it’d been nicer weather because it was cold and started to rain a little, and that there were more Christmas lights. I was nervous. I was relieved and happy that she said yes.
What do you love about your partner? What qualities do you most admire in her or him?
Matt is sweet, funny, caring, so thoughtful and generous. He’s smart and has an impressive knowledge of sports. He can be really romantic and passionate. He’s adorable, so handsome, I love his smile and he has the most beautiful eyes. He’s genuine and honest and open. He’s athletic and healthy and likes many of the same things I like. He’s really relaxed and easy going and he puts me at ease. I love being around him. With him I feel comfortable being my quirky self. I can be sexy and I can be funny. I feel like he loves me and accepts me for who I am, even if I’m goofing around. I don’t feel judged. He has quirks that I find endearing. He loves food and seems to like my cooking. He has a lot of integrity and is a very hard worker.
I like her aqua eyes and long blonde hair. She has a tractor beam from her eyes that lures me in and lets me know she loves me and cares about me. Sometimes watching sports alone I feel a little bored, but when Gretchen’s around, even if she’s not really watching, I feel more relaxed, more able to enjoy it. I love being around her. I love her sweetness. I love her personality and her sense of humor.
What does your partner do that always makes you laugh?
He makes me giggle a lot. I asked him what he does to make me laugh, and he said “I show up.” That made me laugh.
She says stuff like “it’s a push” when we tied at Scrabble.
What actions of your partner’s say “I love you” to you?
He holds me. He hugs me as I’m trying to cook. He offers to make me a bath, even if I don’t actually want one. He kisses me. He tells me sweet things, like I’m the love of his life, or that he’s so happy.
When she stares at me, I can tell she loves me. I could tell that from the first time she looked at me. She bakes me cookies. She kisses me a lot.
What are your hopes for the future?
Starting a family. Enjoying the day to day happiness and sweetness with Matt. Watching the puppies grow. Upgrading to a bigger home one day with a big yard and a tree for a swing. Winning the lotto. Get a sweet job. Start a family.
What emotion would you like guests to take away from the ceremony? What vision would you like to resonate with them?
Gratitude for the love in their own lives. Happiness for us. Thankfulness to be included in our special day. Memory of a very pleasant day.
What does it mean to you to have your family and friends at your wedding ceremony?
They are the ones we love and the ones we turn to for support. I think community is important in helping a couple stay together, reminding them of their commitment and their values and helping them work through issues. And I just want to share with joy with them. I’m having a hard time not just adding every person I’ve met to the guest list because I just want to share my happiness with everyone and have everyone feel special and invited and included.
I agree.
What tone would you like for the ceremony? Intimate, ceremonial, minimal, sacred, warm, solemn, lighthearted?
Warm, sweet, simple but beautiful, honoring the commitment we’re making to each other. Warm and lighthearted.
What are your goals for the two of you as a couple?
To celebrate life together and all that we have. To love each other deeply and fully. To help each other grow and flourish from our love and acceptance. To smile and laugh everyday, and not take things too seriously.
To be happy together. To love one another and support one another.
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