Time for a New Decade

Today is my 30th birthday. When I don't think about whatever my expectations for 30 were -- to be married, owe a home, have children, have my finances figured out and a job I loved (most of that is true) -- I'm excited about moving into this new decade of my life. Twenties were a time of self definition. I won't say "discovery" because I think you always know who you are, even though you change throughout it.

When I think of twenties, I see myself as a lonely, melancholy English major walking to class in the rain, wondering about the future of my life and daydreaming about doing anything else. I see myself feeling fiercely about many things, and people. I see myself driving that beat-up Subaru too fast over the pass and really loving the saying "you can sleep when you're dead" and quotes and tragic stories and emo music and rebelling against materialism and what was expected. I see myself giving too much without recognizing and asking for what I wanted and needed. I see myself feeling so adult getting my first job out of college and feeling frustrated that I felt coworkers and clients just viewed me as an ignorant young kid. I see myself feeling too young to be married as I watched my friends tie the knot, too young to be a parent until I was present when Jenn gave birth, then really knowing what I wanted my future to look like. I see myself struggling, struggling with relationships, struggling with my recovery, struggling in Texas, struggling to stay positive. I see myself eventually trying to have faith, believe with an unwavering belief, learning to really assert myself, meeting the love of my life, feeling finally grown up, and ending the decade with the excitement of getting engaged, of marrying my dream guy, of getting to be ready to be a parent.

I am glad it happened how it happened til now I suppose. I wasn't ready in myself to be where I am now. Honestly I'm glad my 20s are over. Because although I think I may need to leave behind super short mini skirts (maybe...) and glittery girly makeup (ok, actually no) and the ancst of being a young adult, I saw my thirties as being a time of doing, of feeling set in myself and confident, of masterfully completing my job, of managing my affairs with at least some experience, of feeling the respect that comes with age, of being a grateful and loving wife, of soon becoming a providing and loving mother, of being a good advice giver and... moving ahead in my life with more sureness and joy and trust. I look forward to this next decade of creation and boldly living out our dreams. I see my 30s as stepping into my power. Rocking my life. I'm excited for what lies ahead.

Goals for my 30s (which may or may not be too lofty):
* Love Matt with all I have and continue to build our beautiful relationship
* Create our family
* (re)get fit and maintain health to ensure long, healthy life
* Eat more substance and less junk
* Buy a (somewhat) larger house with a big yard, big trees, a living room, a flat driveway for a basketball hoop, a little larger bedrooms, a front porch for sitting...
* Go on a cruise
* Go to Europe
* Live in joy, trust in spirit, smile, think positively, express gratitude
* Appreciate my job and try to engage myself as much as possible
* Establish a strong financial plan and stick to it
* Learn some new great go-to recipes
* Spend quality family time

Wow I thought I'd have more goals for 10yrs but maybe that's too much time to tackle. I'll make the rest as I go along, and shorter term goals :)