Fresh off the plane in my fuzzy rush...

I've been rocking out to the Kings of Leon all week. Thanks Joe. :-)

I feel so much better than I have in a long time. I feel good. Ever since DC. I feel ready to deal with things. Ready to tackle things. Ready to embrace the world. Ready to feel happy, really let myself be happy.

And I have some things to look forward to this week. I have a date tomorrow! It's just a casual happy hour drink so we'll see but I'll excited about meeting him. Then Jen is coming to visit so it'll be my turn to chauffeur her around town, showing her how Bend has changed since whenever her last visit was...

On the work front, one of my OSU professors -- Anita Helle -- heard I'm involved in the Gallery of Writing and has asked me to come be a guest speaker in her literacy studies class (which was one of my fav classes in grad school)! So now I'm trying to plan a little day trip, to overlap with one of my work trips to Eugene, up to OSU.

On another note: I've been meaning to write something about my uncle Chuck who just passed after a very sudden battle with cancer. I don't exactly know what to say; I never do when someone passes except that I hope it is better for him. I'm not even sure what I think life is in the after-life. I do believe in energy and connectedness, and after my car accident and my vision I do believe in spirits. So I guess I believe that Chuck's energy can still be around, adding to the positive force of life. But there is a great sadness too, that he didn't have the time to do the things that may have been on his "bucket list," that his family does not get to share the rest of their lives with him. It was so fast and shocking.

I had a very strange dream just a few nights ago actually, maybe because of thinking about Chuck. I was sick, I had a disease, and I had started to feel sick to my stomach. I opened my mouth and out floated this translucent multi-colored mist, which I thought in my dream was my soul. I shouted to a man near me, who in my dream was my husband or partner, and I said "it's time." And he tried to disagree with me but I kept insisting it was time and to get the children and family so I could say my goodbyes. What struck me when I awoke was that I didn't have any real last wishes-- just to say goodbye to my family and spend a little more time with them. I was thankful in my dream that I knew the moment was coming so that I could say goodbye. But otherwise I didn't feel anything, not fear, not pain... just acceptance. And that's what I hope was Chuck's experience. He was a good man with a huge loving heart and I know that he instilled good fear and awe and respect and admiration in his students. And I hope that my aunt and cousins are able to continue to celebrate his life and aren't held down by grief. My love and thoughts are with you! What else can I say of comfort?