When you ask for a sign

be prepared to see a sign, literally.

I had an interesting dream a few weeks ago. I suppose, yes, I'd been asking for a sign that things will work out as I wish, that I'm drawing into my life what I want, that there is something more, maybe guides or angels.

In my dream I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend Dan, who I haven't actually seen in a few months since I decided that our attempt at being friends was futile since 1- he doesn't seem to be able to have boundaries enough to be just friends, and 2- ...I just feel upset sometimes when he calls or texts, like "wtf does he want?" and that doesn't seem like a healthy place to be if you're honestly trying to be friends. But after all the shit I've been through with him, frankly I don't think I should have to work on my feelings and work to not feel irritated with him. I just don't trust him, bottom line. I'm not even sure what it is I don't trust, I guess I just don't trust him to be honest with me and not manipulative. Boo. So in living life, not seeing him. In my dream, yes, though even in my dream I wondered what the hell I was doing hanging out with him.

So I went outside of this house in the dream and stood on the deck looking up at the stars in the night sky. And I said in my dream "what am I doing? what is the point of this? what am I supposed to be doing?" or something along those lines.

And across the night sky appeared this lightboard. Like those LCD blue lightboards used to announce things. And at first numbers just scroll across and down it, like it was just powering on "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8" And I said "okay, it's working..." Then the board spelled out "P-L-A-Y" but not just once, over and over, and backwords, and upside-down. Actually I felt a little annoyed, like whomever was operating the sign was just fucking with me. "Okay, I get it. Play. Okay, yeh, I see it. I know. I need to play more. I take things too seriously sometimes. Yeh yeh yeh, tell me what I don't already know."

And when I woke up, it seemed pretty funny to me. Yes, let's play more.