A detox failed, err... postponed

Intention: to detox my body of built up toxin, to perhaps gain more energy and mental clarity, to gain more spiritual clarity?, to help clear out the old to make way for the new, to support my friends who are doing it to lose weight and improve their terrible diets... This isn't a juice or extreme detox diet, it's a whole food/elimination diet. The first week is supposed to be cutting out common allergens (like wheat, corn, dairy) -- so that my body has a chance to function more efficiently without potentially being affected by the allergens/things that are harder on my body like alcohol -- and supporting my liver with green leafy veggies and even chicken and eggs as my liver works to more efficient process waste. The second week cuts chicken and eggs and adds in more fruits. Not sure about week three.

Day 1:
breakfast-- crap, I didn't really think about the fact that I'd be starting this in the morning, the time of the day when I'm the most hungry. Apparently I'm avoiding dairy, gluten, caffeine or sugar so I'm a little at a loss because this is my entire breakfast. I looked over the detox recipes and there's not anything on there that looks like breakfast to me, mostly soups and salads. And the only fruit allowed is apples (which I love but give me gas), bananas (yum but I don't have any), and berries (which I love but are pricey and not ripe now). But berries are in, quinoa is in... I have frozen blueberries. I have quinoa. Cinnamon. Some slivered almonds. Shredded carrots. Chopped spinach. Put it in a bowl, voila, breakfast. Can't say I'd prefer to eat this daily but it does the job this morning.
Oh geez, that did not last long. I'm starving again and it's only been two hours.

lunch-- the rest of the salad mix I have in the fridge, topped with the last of the nuts I have. I pretty much have nothing else in the kitchen that doesn't have wheat, corn, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, nightshades (tomatoes, peppers, etc), dairy, meat... even raisins are out! Except eggs, I have eggs but I dislike eggs on their own (gotta have some cheese, or an omelette but need tomatoes or peppers, or eggs on toast with jam). I also eat some yummy canned 5-bean low-sodium veggie soup, but with less than 200 calories in the whole can, it doesn't keep me full very long.

oh holy cow... I am so hungry. I have zero energy. I feel moody and shitty and I just want to eat a huge cinnamon roll that I know I have frozen in the freezer. I'd even eat it frozen. Seriously, at the gym I average burning 400-500 calories a day. I don't see any way that I could eat enough beans and rice and quinoa and veggies to get enough calories during this time I'm training. This weekend I have to log 12.5 miles to stay on my half marathon training schedule. That's about 1300 calories I'll burn in that one run. Apparently my cravings are supposed to subside after a few days. Good lord who can last? I think this would be better to start on a weekend when I have nothing to do but lay around not using energy than on a Tuesday when I'm trying to concentrate on work but keep feeling my stomach growling and my body feeling super grumpy. Maybe I'm addicted to sugar and carbs or maybe my body just has certain needs but I feel like I would kill for a PB&J sandwich or a frozen waffle or even a little bite of cheese. I feel like I'm melting...

dinner-- mom and dad invite me over for tacos. The only thing in tacos I can have is the lettuce. Fuck it. I am so hungry and moody. I'll try this detox after the half marathon. After losing Dahlia, this is not the week that I want to change up my diet and challenge my self-discipline. I just need to be able to eat my usual, relax, comfort myself, cry, and get on with it.